Lost Souls
by Calamity in Motion
Summary: A Seeker finds the love of her host's life, but is torn between the residual devotion to him and her responsibility to turn him in. Emotions this strong were not something the Souls had anticipated. How can she get through to a man who sees her as his true love's murderer? Rated for language, violence, and adult situations. Enjoy!


"We will enter from the rear stairwell, the others are already in position at the front." The Seeker beside me clicked off the safety on his 9mm handgun as he stood.

I didn't like the look in Seeker Marcus's dark blue eyes. He was smiling, but his eyes spoke of violence and a glee in committing it. I, like all other Souls understood that there was no real correlation between a host's emotions and their eyes, but I had to admit that in this body I felt differently. Marcus would enjoy chasing down these humans, he might even enjoy hurting them.

"We will go on my signal and take them all." Marcus said tipping his gun in the direction he wanted me to go as I pulled my own pistol.

"Preferably alive." I replied eyeing him closely.

"Preferably." He shrugged, but his tone implied that it didn't really matter to him.

Marcus, like many Seekers, wanting nothing more than to catch every last one of the remaining rebel humans, not for the host bodies they would provide, but for the gratification. To crush away the very last of rebellion, to thoroughly claim this planet at last as we had so many others. My intentions were just as selfish, but less global.

I only wanted one human.

I was not the first to discover that a human host's past greatly influenced the Soul residing in their body. Memories, filled with emotions and desires we had never experienced now ruled us. We did not simply take the body, we took the loves, the passions, the hates that even our peaceful species could not eradicate. Some of us wondered if we were not becoming a little human ourselves.

My host was called Catriana, Cat by those closest to her. Twenty two this year and small by most standards, she was not what most would call threatening, but as her memory told me she had used this to her advantage. Cat with thin, barely 5'3, and pale from her years of isolation and sun deprivation. Her hair was long and dark brown, with coppery highlights when the light hit it, and tumbling down in gentle curls to her mid-back. Her eyes were a dark grey, which I had been told was one of the rarer colors of irises on Earth. She was an artist, though her previous works had proven too morbid for me to replicate. She had been a troubled girl, a riddle of paranoias and sadness that had made my initial acclimation into the body difficult. I had never been a creature with such _feeling_. It had taken my Healer many weeks to help me through her shortcomings and finally put them aside, after all, she was not me. I was much stronger.

There was only one thing in Catriana's life that I had never been able to toss aside. It came in the form of a man named Alec. In my memory he was tall, though most were tall to Cat, nearly 6 feet, and lean. He had worked for a telemarketing firm, but only for its steady paycheck and reasonable hours. He met with his more athletic friends on the weekends to play games of American football, rugby, and lacrosse, all violent sports, and was fit by most standards. Cat remembered him most for his deep green eyes, the deep delightful timbre of his voice, and the warm sensation that filled her whenever he touched her skin.

I dreamed of him most nights, of his smile and his whispers and the way he had held her before I had come, before the world had been turned on its side and they had been forced apart. Nothing pained Cat more than that separation, and so, despite myself, it pained me too. I had become a Seeker to find him, to bring him home and implant him, hoping that when that happened I would no longer wake with tears in my eyes that belonged to the echoes of my host. I wanted to be strong again.

We had reached the top of the stairs now and Marcus was pressed to the door to the apartment building's hallway with his gun at the ready. He tapped his walkie talkie and murmured the word, then nodded to me and we pushed into the hallway. The other team of Seekers would be entering from the opposite side now, and if we were careful, we would be bringing back a pack of 6 separate humans. Despite my vow as a Seeker, I was only concerned with the one.

I'm not sure who spotted who first, but there was a cry of alarm and someone fired. The hallway exploded into chaos as humans scurried from their hidden places and attempted to run. By the time Marcus and I had made our way to the others, there were two humans on the floor, one was breathing and being secured by the wrists with zip-ties behind his back. The other lay motionless, face up, eyes open. Her side was already soaked through with blood. Marcus gave her a moment of interest before hurrying down the hall with the others to catch the remaining rebels.

"They've made it to the stairs," he grunted. "Take the others side and we will try to surround them again before they can make it to the ground floor."

I didn't bother agreeing verbally, simply turned on my booted heel and dashed back down the hallway. The human who had been captured was not mine, his hair had been blond, and too long. Not the light, golden brown it should have been, curling around the cusps of his ears and just touching the back of his neck.

I took the stairs three at a time, ignoring the brief flash of pain that came when I landed wrong at the bottom. I was in the next hallway before the others, and made my way quickly through the rooms, pushing them open one by one with my boot. I was making too much noise this way, but this was no longer a stealth mission, there was no room for caution anymore. I _had_ to find him. I had looked for the first year on this planet, hoping he had already been found until seeing a news clip with a band of rogue humans that had been spotted in the city. Normally, such things were kept quiet, but with the rebels getting more and more brave in their raids and the humans being armed, the public had been notified to watch for them. The picture had been grainy, more shadow than anything, but my body had known him in an instant. He was half turned from the camera, watching the backs of his fellow rebels, one hand on a stolen gun, the other on the wall beside him. His smile had been too familiar though, curling higher to the right side of his mouth, the points of his sharp incisors showing even in the dark.

I had signed on as a Seeker that very day.

I was halfway through the hallway when I heard movement in a room three doors down. Drawing my weapon higher, I moved quickly and quietly toward it. One perk of this host, was that I could be abnormally quiet when I wanted, and I found that often I did. I touched the door handle and drew in a deep breath to level my nerves, then threw open the door.

For a moment all I registered was new pain in my left hip. The girl inside had thrown a large glass ashtray at me with a wild cry. When she charged however, I was ready. I used her momentum to throw her into the wall outside the door, following through with a knee to her back that made her double over with a groan and hit her knees. From there I raised my gun and struck the back of her head to render her unconscious. This was not standard practice, after all, we could not use a body if the brain was damaged, but I was in a hurry and didn't want to waste time with this frantic girl.

"We've caught two others in the stairwells." Marcus startled me with his voice and I realized that he was jogging down the hall toward me. The curve just off of his left brow was dark with bruising, telling me that one of the humans had put up a decent fight. That he was still alive was a surprise, though I knew alive and_ uninjured_ were two separate things with Marcus. He was violent for a Soul, taking on more of his human host, a convicted felon, than most.

"We haven't spotted the last one, but he has to be here, they never go anywhere alone."

"Secure this one," I said as I stood, holstering my gun. "I'll find him."

"_I_ will find him," Marcus began to protest but I was already running down the hall and shoving my way through the last door. If I didn't find Alec, I might never see him again, never touch him, and that was simply unacceptable. This might be my last chance to find him and I couldn't pass it up.

I heard labored breathing in the stairwell, the heavy pound of feet as someone took the stairs as carelessly as I had. I jumped over the railing and fell to the next flight down, grabbing the side to scan the flight below me. There was a curse, deep and masculine and I caught a flash of golden brown hair as it disappeared into the hall door.

Jumping the next flight of stairs did not end as well as the first. My already injured ankle complained hotly, flashing pain up into my calf that made me stumble into the wall. Gritting my teeth, I pushed myself through the door just in time to see one of the apartment doors closing. My heart was racing, pounding in my throat, though I knew that was impossible, the blood rushing through my ears was loud. I was hurting and tired, but had never felt so wonderful in my life on Earth, never so close to happiness. I pulled my gun from its holster again and raised it up, safety still on since I had no intention of using it, and kicked in the door with my good foot.

"Freeze!" I cried letting the door bang against the wall and swing back shut behind me. The man in the room was struggling to open the dirty rusted window that led to a fire-escape outside. When he heard me, however, he pulled up short and raised his hands. He stood straight slowly and to my surprise he laughed, deep and wonderful, and my body ached at the familiar sound, at hearing it for the first time myself and having yearned for it before that.

"What are you, a cop?" he asked. "Shouldn't you be saying something a little more fitting like _surrender you body_?"

"If you would prefer that, I will oblige."

He laughed again and turned, readying to bite back with an insult but when he saw me he was rigid. Alec's arms fell to his sides, his green eyes wide and his mouth hung open a moment, his words lodged in his throat or forgotten at the sight of me.

There was a long moment when we stared at one another and the shock on his face must have been mirrored in mine. I hadn't been prepared for this, I knew that now. This body felt too vividly and at the moment I was locked in a battle against myself to run to him or burst into tears. Cat's memories had not done him justice. They had not captured the flecks of light in his brilliant green eyes or the perfect delightful curve of his mouth. The way his dirty tee shirt clung to the muscles of his chest, harder now from a life of labor and running, or the way the thin sheen of sweat that covered him seemed to make his skin glow under the sunlight. I found myself just as frozen by the sight of him.

He recovered first.

Alec covered the distance between us faster than I could anticipate. He charged with a growl so angry it frightened and confused me. Suddenly the world was rushing passed me and I hit the ground on my back with a grunt of pain, Alec on top of me. I tried to cry out to him, but his hands were around my throat and he was squeezing for all he was worth. There was no love in his eyes, as my fantasies had conjured, only pain, and a hatred so brilliant and hot that I found myself stunned again and did not lift hand to stop him.

Not until my lung began to ache in my chest from lack of oxygen and my brain warned that it would lead to unconsciousness. My knee came up between us, catching him between the legs and he was so consumed with killing me that he didn't notice until it was too late. Alec rolled to the side wheezing and I pushed myself up, holding my throat and coughing violently as I grabbed for my fallen gun. I had it level with his head by the time he had pushed himself up onto his hands and knees.

"Do not move," I said between breaths. "If you do I will not hesitate to shoot you."

This was a lie, I knew that with every fiber of my being. Had Alec attacked me again, I would not be able to shoot him, not even to save myself. This knowledge frightened me because the look on his face was proof that he did not feel the same. He wanted to kill me, more than escaping, he wanted me dead. The part of me that understood most human motivations understood this, that it must be painful for him to see this body under my control. The other part of me however, the part that was human now, ached with this knowledge. It hurt to see him hate me when all I wanted was to wrap my arms around him and never let go again. This man, who I had never met until today, meant more to me than anything else in my life, more than my own.

"Do it," Alec hissed through his teeth. "Shoot me because I'll die before you can make me into another puppet like you."

"I do not want to shoot you Alec." I sighed and the fury in his eyes was momentarily shadowed by the shock at hearing his name from my lips. Perhaps he hadn't expected me to know him, prayed that I would not, but now that I did he was back to fury.

"She didn't deserve to die like this, you filthy parasite," He seethed.

"I am not dead," I replied with a frown. "This host is perfectly healthy."

"She's dead," he argued and the pain in his voice broke my heart. "You made sure of that when you slithered inside of her and hollowed out everything human left. You _killed_ her, and now you wear her skin like a trophy."

I frowned at the barbaric visual he conjured, only a human could have painted it in such a distasteful way. This was not the reunion I had imagined. In that when he saw me it was with the shining silver film of a Soul through is eyes. A smile that would make my heart beat faster, warm breath that would make me tingle, but not this. Not hatred. Not disgust. For me there was only joy, mingling now with sorrow that he did not feel the same. I gazed at him and saw everything I had worked for on this planet. I saw the happiness that had evaded me since implantation, passion that could not be rivaled by any other thing in this world. I struggled a moment, wanting to lower my gun and touch his cheek, wondering if it would be a warm and soft as Cat remembered, but I knew that was out of the question. He would sooner chew off his own arm than let me touch him.

Footsteps outside the hall made us both freeze, and again, Alec was the first to react. He lunged forward and grabbed my head, slamming it down against the floor and jumping to my feet. Thankfully he didn't have time to grab my gun, or I'm sure he would have shot me too. I didn't know why he didn't have one, but now I was grateful. Alec had pressed himself back against the wall when the door opened and Marcus hurried through it. He slipped behind the open door, watching us with narrowed eyes, readying to attack.

"What happened?" Marcus asked, falling to one knee to help me up and wincing when I groaned from the movement. My eyes rose to the hiding Alec, slowly slipping out from behind the door then back to the Seeker beside me. When his eyes began to follow my gaze I cleared my throat.

"The human was here," the words tumbled from my lips before I could stop them and Alec went still, his face a mask of confusion. "I tried to secure him but he got the best of me and escaped down the hall. He cannot get away Marcus."

"He hurt you." It was not a question and the Seeker brushed his fingertips across the no doubt red marks that burned on my throat.

"He tried."

"My car is close. Take yourself to a Healer, I will visit you in the hospital once we've caught the human." He spoke the last word like a curse and I struggled not to frown at it.

"I will not be in the hospital long enough for visitors," I said forcing a smile. Thankfully my pain was an easy excuse for the strain in the expression.

Marcus smiled, his blue eyes glinting with humor and leaned down to kiss the top of my head. "Stubborn," he said and jumped to his feet. Alec slipped back behind the door as the Seeker turned on his heel and jogged from the room, snapping instructions to the remaining Seekers on his radio.

The door slowly shut behind him as I stood watching the bewildered human behind it warily. My gun I kept at the ready, slightly raised at my side, but not pointed at him, lest he feel threatened.

"You lied for me," he said slowly, moving closer. My body was tense with guilt and horror at the truth in it. What had I just done? What was wrong with me?

"He would have found you."

"Isn't that why you're here?"

For a moment I was quiet, and then I sighed eyes dropping a moment to the floor. "I thought so."

"So what now?" Alec asked when I remained silent. He was watching me now with an expression I couldn't read. The confusion was clear, but there was something else, something powerful and deep that made me slightly uncomfortable.

"I don't know."

"Will you let me run?"

"No."

"Then what was the point of that?" he snapped.

My own temper flared at his tone and I snapped back just as hotly. "I don't _know_."

"Figure it out then," he said moving slowly closer, inching a circle around me toward the fire escape. "I won't wait for him to come back."

"I don't want to hurt you," I said because it was the only truth I knew for certain now.

"Then don't. Let me live," he spoke softly, pleadingly. "Let me go."

"I can't do that."

"Then shoot me," his voice was flat, hard. His green eyes blazing beneath the fray of his dark lashes. I noticed now how long his hair had grown, nearly down to his collar. For a moment I found myself wanted to tell him to cut it, but I realized quickly that they weren't my words. Cat had told him this a hundred times. They had laughed and he had refused and she'd complained, but it always ended the same, he'd cut it for her, to make her happy. He would do no such thing for the alien that had stolen her body.

"Give me your hands," I said suddenly, popping the safety off on my gun. He noted this and seemed to curse himself for not noticing sooner.

"Why?"

"If you do not wish to be caught then you must let me secure your hands."

Alec laughed, short and manic and shook his head. "What kind of backwards logic is that?"

"Others will notice if I do not have you secured."

"They'll notice me anyway," he replied with another sarcastic chuckle. "I'd rather be free to run when they do."

"If you run they will catch you. If you are taken by me, they will not bother. You must trust me."

The mocking humor melted from his expression in an instant and Alec was back to fury and hatred at my expense. "That's not possible."

Anger of my own welled up and lashed out at him. "You have no other options. You may leave with me, or you will go with the others. Either way you are captured, but with me you are not dead." I used the word he would understand though it had no business alongside the idea of implantation. He understood my meaning though and the confusion returned to his hateful expression.

"Why are you doing this?"

"I don't know," I replied, moving closer. "Perhaps you should accept before I change my mind."

"Go fuck yourself."

The gun went off with a crack of light and thunderous sound and Alec roared, hitting the floor hard. He clutched his leg and cursed like a sailor as I hurried to force him face-down on the wooden floor. I pulled a thick plastic zip-tie from the cargo pocket of my black pants and secured his wrists tightly behind his back then rolled him over again.

"You _shot_ me you crazy bitch!" he growled, struggling to attack me and failing miserably with his arms tied.

"You gave me no choice," I said, but inside I was furious that I could hurt him at all. Guilt was ever stronger in me and I fear by the end of this day it would only grow worse. "The others will have heard that shot. They will come here. If you do not wish to be taken when they do, then you must come with me. I will get you away from here, I promise."

"Go fu-" I clamped my hand over his mouth before he could insult me with physical impossibilities again.

"I swear on my life and the lives I have lived before this that I will not take you to any Healers. You will not become a host body for any of my kind this night. I will take you somewhere safe, but you must not fight me."

There was silence a long time as he glared up at me and slowly I uncovered his mouth. He did not trust me, that was clear, but he understood now that I was right. He had no other options. If he ran now, he would not get far. I was his only hope.

"If you're lying-"

"Then you will be a parasite soon too, and you will forgive me with a smile. Now quit wasting time, we have to get to the fire escape before the others arrive."

His eyes narrowed but he obeyed and I quickly helped him to his feet. The window was still rusted shut, but I had no time to fight with it. I smashed the butt of my gun through the glass, scraping away as much glass from the frame as I could and motioned him through.

"_Hurry_."

I climbed through after and we scrambled down the metal staircase as quickly as possible with his injury. When we'd gotten to the ladder, I forced it down with two kicked and motioned for him to go, but Alec only stood there, looking at me as if I were stupid.

"What are you waiting for?"

"Free my hands, I can't climb the ladder without them."

I was not stupid. If I cut the ties he would turn on me and flee, but if I did not this was all for nothing. Sure I could spin it in my favor, no one would believe him anyway except the Soul that took up his brain and the it would be too late. I only had one option.

Alec cursed when I shoved him over the side of the rail, legs wheeling frantically. He landed in the dumpster below with a grunt and I leapt the rail to follow.

"A little warning would be nice." He scowled, but I ignored him and crutched to boost him over the side of the dumpster.

He landed on his side on the concrete, dazed a moment as I joined him and cursed me under his breath, but I ignored this too. With an arm under his shoulder I began to lead him down the alley as fast as I could force him to walk. Blood had soaked through the leg of his jeans now and dripped down to his shoes. I would have to treat the wound soon, but I couldn't do that here.

By the time we had made it to Marcus's car, Alec was swaying on his feet, his head drooping against my shoulder.

"I'm feeling a little woozy here." He muttered as I shoved him into the passenger seat.

"You have lost a lot of blood," was the only thing I could think to say, not that it mattered. I'd just gotten into the driver's seat when he passed out, slumping against the door.

Secretly, I was thankful for the time alone as I drove, always keeping to the speed limit even though I wanted to race back to my home. I knew I would take him there, just like I knew I would lie to keep him safe once I did. My brain was racing, my heart pounding and at times I feared I might lose consciousness too.

This should not have happened. This was against everything I knew, everything I had believed for 4 lifetimes. Never once had I intentionally stopped a human from being implanted and at first I couldn't understand why, not until I thought about it. I imagined Alec with a silver ring of light in his eyes when the light hit them, of a smile that would be his and yet not, too kind, too gentle. To place a Soul in his body would be to erase everything about him that I had come to love. Alec was brave, impulsive and even a little dangerous, everything that a Soul was not. Even a Soul with his memories would not be Alec. It would be a flawed copy, wrong in ways that only I would have seen and the idea made me sick. Alec could not be a host simply because he would not be Alec anymore. I had just gotten him back I could not lose him again.

And so I broke every vow I had made as a Seeker. I became a traitor to all of my race for the love of a human who could not stand the sight of me.

* * *

**I recently re-read the book, now that the movie is coming out and i couldn't help myself. The more i read, the more this story wanted to be told. So here it is. I was intrigued by the relationship between Wanderer and Jared. The hatred and love that was always mixed in with every interaction. I wanted that dynamic without the bother of a third wheel (the host voice making things more complicated, thank you Mel). I thought it would be interesting to have a Soul deal with it alone, loving someone she's never met and knowing it was because of her body's former resident but having no power to change that.**

**What would it be like to know that you felt only devotion to that man while he loathed the sight of you, knowing he hated everything but your skin and knowing that even that was not enough to sway him. It means some interesting interactions and emotions in my opinion. I'm excited to write it.**

**I hope you enjoyed the first chapter.**


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